So today was my hell day, the one where I teach 6 hours of class, ending with 2 hours of 9th graders. I had a meeting at 1300 and another at 1700. Can you say "chock-a-block"?
I made it through the day without crying. Score one for Teach!
I even managed to laugh a bit. Two points!
Here are some of the highlights:
First, one of my favorite things to do is fix my gaze on students who toss around the word "blonde" as an insult. "T'es pas un peu blonde, toi?" I stare at the kid, and smile, and feel satisfaction when the kid squirms and stammers "I wasn't talking about you, Madame." I've been meaning to blog about that for a while now.
Today in the 7th grade class, someone said "string." The class was abuzz, because in French, un string means something else. I shook my head, and said "Non, ça veut dire ficelle." Raphaël, a boy whose family does not have a TV, and whose favorite actor is Bourvil, was mumbling something. I said, "Pardon me?" He said, "I was just thinking that a string in BASIC means something else." A kid after my own heart. A TV-less computer geek.
At 1400 I had my 6th graders. We're working on a lesson which revolves around asking the question "What's this?/What are these?" The image we were studying was a drawing of a box of theater props. I put on the cassette tape, and the kids had to listen and point to the object mentioned. We heard "Where's the pipe? Point to the pipe. Do you smoke a pipe?" I stopped the cassette and repeated, "Do you smoke a pipe?" One of the kids understood, and translated. "Est-ce que tu fumes une pipe?" Then Matthieu, the Ritalin poster boy, murmured "Est-ce que tu tailles une pipe?"
I rolled my eyes, looked at Matthieu, said, "I'm not surprised," and continued with the lesson. Tailler une pipe means give a bl0w job. He didn't think I had heard, and I didn't feel like dealing with it. But I don't accept vulgarity in my classroom. Usually.
And that brings me to the last class of 9th graders. A bunch of kids were absent, including the shittiest ones, so I only had 20 students. If only every class could have just 20 students...
We managed to get a lot done, relatively speaking, and just before the bell rang, I overheard one kid say "cunni/lingus." It's the same word in French, only it's pronounced, well, in a French way. It was just about 1700, the end of a long day, so I just gave my teacher's stare and said "Why, Julien!" As if to say that I was surprised to hear such a word exit his mouth. The others laughed, and another boy asked "Vous connaissez, Madame?"
This is possibly the most LOADED question I have ever been asked. A 9th grader asking me if I know what cunni/lingus is. I couldn't hold in my smile, and I said "Tristan, I refuse to answer."
And thus ended my hell day: with thoughts of one of the loveliest gifts a woman can receive (from a grown man, not from a 9th grader)!
I'm glad you had a good day. You were way overdue for one.
And bravo on the way you handled the miscreants.
Posted by: Allan | March 01, 2005 at 16:37
Well, those weren't even the miscreants.
I've banned one of them from entering my classroom as long as I haven't met with his parents. They were called into school yesterday afternoon for another reason. Don't think it'll take too long to find time for an appointment with me.
Posted by: Alison | March 01, 2005 at 16:44
Good for you.
Posted by: Allan | March 01, 2005 at 16:47
Ali,
As you pointed out, our age difference doesn't seem to matter when it comes to the similarities between our stories. Fortunately, my ninth graders have a vocabulary that is far too limited for words like cunni/lingus. Whenever I hear that word, I think of this Saturday Night Live skit in which they talk about Colonel Angus.(Most women love hi, but some women can't stand him, he is a little messy, etc...) So funny! Loved this post!
Posted by: Mz. Smlph | March 01, 2005 at 19:11
Very happy to hear you had a good one!! Now, aim for two in a row!! :-)
Posted by: Chris | March 01, 2005 at 19:24
I must admit I was impressed that they knew the word. Have you ever seen the film Shirley Valentine? There's a flashback scene where the main character (now a middle aged woman) remembers a conversation with friends in pre 1960's Liverpool. They're being very daring, using "new" words and Shirley remarks that cl1toris (she pronounces it cl1TORis) would make a lovely girls' name.
In the original play I think the scene is her remembering asking her husband Joe what he knows about the cl1toris, his reply? "It doesn’t run as well as the Ford Cortina."
Sorry, all very off topic, glad to hear you had a good day.
Posted by: Daisy | March 02, 2005 at 03:24
Daisy, I loved that movie. Thanks for reminding me of it.
Posted by: Alison | March 02, 2005 at 03:30
Superbe !
Je te sens être toi-même, et ça marche ! Je te parie que si tu tiens la position, ils arreteront bientôt de te tester.
Certes, tous ces ados semblent travaillés par leur libido, mais sont-ils les seuls ?
Porte toi bien !
Posted by: coldbear | March 02, 2005 at 12:51